A note to well-meaning gentiles. by DovBear

Dear Well-meaning Gentiles:

As much as I appreciate your warm holiday greetings, it disappoints me to be wished a "season of peace and joy" This is your season of peace and joy, not mine. Telling me that you want the Hanukkah season to bring me "peace and joy" is a bit like me wishing you a Happy New Year on Labor Day. It makes no sense. Caveat Loquens.

I also thank you for the Hanukkah-themed piece of junk you brought me. Nothing cheers my spirit like a plastic top that plays that classic song about the dreidal made from clay. Perhaps I'll reciprocate next week, by sending you a jolly elf that plays Jingle Bells when you tickle its stomach. Won't that be fun! 

Unfortunately, I do not have what you called a "Hanukkah table" upon which to display your gift. Yes, you're right: It would look nice hanging from a tree. Only I do not have one. Remember?

That's all. Appreciate the thought, but not the effort.

Your buddy,

Dov Bear